CarBrain - Fulton County Schools Edition

Evidenced by the new elementary school along Hwy 9, CarBrain has undoubtedly taken control of our school designs.  I was first intrigued when driving by along Hwy 9, I caught a glimpse of a horde of Do Not Enter signs.  These are the same size and variety that you see plastered at the end of GA400 Off-Ramps.  So, one might think we had the risk of cars unknowingly cruising into an access controlled highway where oncoming traffic is hitting speeds upwards of 70 mph.   Not exactly,  this horde of signs was neatly clustered around the car pool exit.  The pavement even has neatly placed arrows showing the direction of car flow.  Here's a little montage of the situation.

Four Do Not Enter signs clustered at the end of the car pool lane.  Take no chances with safety here.

Four Do Not Enter signs clustered at the end of the car pool lane.  Take no chances with safety here.

The four (look closely) DNE signs here are set up in about the same way as those at the elementary school and they are the same size.

The four (look closely) DNE signs here are set up in about the same way as those at the elementary school and they are the same size.

You might think four DNE signs is enough at the school but our friends at the Roswell Recycling Center might up you another eight.  Leave nothing to chance and no one will question your patriotism.

You might think four DNE signs is enough at the school but our friends at the Roswell Recycling Center might up you another eight.  Leave nothing to chance and no one will question your patriotism.

You might think that marks the end of the DNE overkill but you'd be wrong.  The car pool lane does hold the title here for the most DNE signs but the bus lane got in on the game too with a double dose of DNE that once again could be toned down.

I'm not sure I'll ever quite understand the need for this much redundancy but maybe I'm not the target audience.  You'd have to be one hell of a confused driver to turn down the bus lane here.

I'm not sure I'll ever quite understand the need for this much redundancy but maybe I'm not the target audience.  You'd have to be one hell of a confused driver to turn down the bus lane here.

Now, CarBrain inflictions cause their victims to overlook common sense.  They are shrouded in a culture liability reduction by redundancy and cannot think past the confines of their automobile to see how this type of visual clutter is truly just pollution.  But what I found next might actually slap some sense into even the most difficult cases of CarBrain.   

As I explored, I noticed that there were some No Parking signs around the Do Not Enter signs.  The first thing I noticed was that they were a bit smaller than your standard NP sign that you see at virtually every turn lane in the world no.  However, upon further examination, I noticed that these little signs were placed really close together.  Like REALLY CLOSE.  So, I looked around a bit and saw something amazing.  

The DNE signs were not the real story here.  The NP signs were.  I started seeing them EVERYWHERE. I decided to count them from afar.  However, that didn't work because I lost count.  It was like trying to count the stars in the sky.

The No Parking signs at the school are about half the size of a standard NP sign.  These are definitely preferable to larger ones especially in low speed environments.  Kudos FCS!  Now, reduce the size of those DNE signs.

The No Parking signs at the school are about half the size of a standard NP sign.  These are definitely preferable to larger ones especially in low speed environments.  Kudos FCS!  Now, reduce the size of those DNE signs.

The bus lane is littered with No Parking signs.  Each one of those sticks is a No Parking sign.

The bus lane is littered with No Parking signs.  Each one of those sticks is a No Parking sign.

This picture looks almost as good as an architectural rendering.  However, no architect would ever pollute their rendering with all those road signs.  I had to get a closer look.

This picture looks almost as good as an architectural rendering.  However, no architect would ever pollute their rendering with all those road signs.  I had to get a closer look.

This truly is an enigma wrapped in a paradox.  RIDICULOUS!

This truly is an enigma wrapped in a paradox.  RIDICULOUS!

All told, there were 45 no parking signs on this school property that should not even exist.  The Red Curb says it all. It means No Stopping, No Standing, No Parking.  With the Red Curb, not a single sign is necessary.

HOLY F U C K I N G SHIT People.. this is insane.  

But wait... there's more (in another post).. but for now... Please.. Stop the Madness.